


The Victims of Circumstance

by NeoFruity (orphan_account)



Category: Big Hero 6 (2014)
Genre: Ayyyy, Blood and Gore, GUESS WHAT, Kidnapping, LMFAO - Freeform, M/M, Sibling Incest, Tokyo Ghoul AU, Torture, What Have I Done, Wow, didn't think i could write something like this, graphic description of gore, i'm gonna wreck the brothers, idk - Freeform, jk i'm not very good at writing, long chapters, me n daddy hidashi are illustrating this story too, my dad just unstalled a new filter on his computer fuck my life i am sorry, sorry - Freeform, there's s/mut, this is dark, whooo, why am i doing that with the the word s/mut?, yea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-03-23 11:46:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3766903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/NeoFruity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t you listen Hiro? I’m a monster! Get out of here now!” Tadashi proceeded to further curl in on himself. He couldn’t hold on to himself for much longer, the way Hiro’s muscles were poised and held taught, the why his ivory flesh wrapped around the sinew and bone, the way his pink lips fit perfectly into his soft face… Tadashi finally snapped. Hiro’s smell, and Hiro’s skin and Hiro, Hiro, Hiro. He wanted to tear the pretty flesh right off his skin, drag the muscle from his bones, and devour his beating heart. He wanted to feel the warmth leave his body, see the light leave the boy’s panic stricken eyes as his foot descended through his ribcage. He wanted to hear the bones crack underneath his feet; Hiro's screaming and crying for help filling his ears like sweet music.</p><p>yup. it's that story. pls don't hate me as i wreck your favs</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part 1 - Lamentations of The Starving

Tadashi stumbled along the side walk path, gripping his midsection in a vain effort to staunch the ever persistent flow of blood. Under normal circumstances he would have died of blood loss by now, but for Tadashi the odds couldn’t have been worse.

A little over a week ago he had an encounter with one of many ghouls that plagued the city of San Fransokyo, and nearly died after being buried under a pile of rubble and steel construction beams, along with his assailant. One of the beams had nearly pierced him all the way through, effectively shredding his internal organs. After having been rushed to the hospital, the doctors unknowingly transferred the ghoul’s organs into Tadashi in an attempt to save his life. The result of the botched and the quick recovery that followed soon yielded hellish results. It had been three days since Tadashi had actually tried to eat ‘real food’ but the shift into a foreign species left him gagging and sputtering and ultimately feeling ill every time he tried to eat. Tadashi had left he and his brother’s shared apartment in an attempt to get help, or answers to his unfortunate suffering. He failed to remember that, not only where there ghouls out at late at night, but they were also territorial and hungry. Once again his internal organs paid the price for his miscalculation.

And now he was left faltering and tripping through the narrow, dirty alleyways, back to his apartment. Groaning and clutching his stomach he fell against the wall, grating his shoulder along the rough bricks. Tears flowed freely both eyes, slightly blurring his vision and slowing his pace even further. He was in excruciating pain and he was _so hungry._ And it terrified him. He could see passersby’s illuminated in the nearby streetlight, innocently strolling past the alley opening, unware of the danger that lay in the shadows.

Tadashi’s vision blurred slightly as he began to stalk towards the opening. His mind took on an unfamiliar animal instinct and his senses heightened. _People are so slow moving,_ he thought. _So pathetic. Poor weak humans, they don’t deserve to live…._ Tadashi’s head snapped up in realization of what he was thinking. This wasn’t Tadashi, this wasn’t how he felt. No, this is what monsters feel, what evil creatures in the night have front and foremost in their head when they’re out on the prowl for a kill. Tadashi was no monster. Tadashi was a second year college student, a young genius that invented healthcare bot, meant for helping the injured and sick. He was not a ghoul, he was a human.

Was, _indeed. You can’t avoid this, it’s too late for you now… you’re not human anymore._ Tadashi grasped his head shaking it back and forth in defiance.

“No, no, no, no! I’m a human being! I don’t…  I don’t…” his tears began to fall faster now, as he was unable to finish his sentence. He knew all too well it was far too late and nothing could have prevented this except for himself. Sobs wracked his body as he tasted the salty fruit of his sorrow on his tongue. A cut on his forehead began to bleed once more, streaking his cheek in crimson and diluting further into his tears.

He hoped to God Hiro would be home. His excuse might be pathetic as hell, but knowing Hiro he most definitely try to help his ragged brother. Tadashi’s eyes widened. _Hiro._ He pushed his thoughts of hunger and carnage as far away as he could and, as quickly as a wounded person could with what little strength he had, he pulled himself up and continued to stumble along the narrow alleyways to his home. _If there are other ghouls out right now it’s not safe for Hiro to be out at all._ He quickened his pace, determined to get back to his only family he had left.

Eventually he found himself climbing up the wrought iron stairs, and nearly falling against the doorway of the tiny flat. His hand shook so much as he attempted to fit the key in its proper fashion that he feared he would never get in the door. Finally the key slid in and lock grated as he twisted the handle and shoved the door open, effectively slamming it behind him and slumping to the floor so he could catch his breath and rest for a moment.

After a few minutes, Tadashi opened his eyes and was greeted by a dark kitchen and dining area, the only light flowing in from the nearby window as produced by the street lamps and neon signs of the neo Tokyo-San Francisco hybrid.

“H-Hiro?” he choked out. There was no reply, only confirming Tadashi’s fears further. It was more than likely the young genius had taken advantage of Tadashi’s absence and went out to catch a bot fight. It was not an uncommon occurrence, and many a time Tadashi had run to find him, narrowly escaping with their lives intact.

Tadashi frantically scrambled, nearly passing out from blood loss, but managed to regain his composure. Making his way slowly to through the apartment to the bathroom he glanced around, looking for something that would give Tadashi reassurance that his brother had not gone out to pick a battle with thugs, criminals, and ghouls alike in the deep dirty wards of San Fransokyo.

A glint from a nearby desk caught his eye and he spotted Megabot, Hiro’s genius devilish bot, sitting amongst a clutter of scrap metal and tools. An angry read face with comically wide and sharp teeth stared back as though to make Tadashi feel bad for his distrust in his brother. Had Tadashi not been in such agonizing pain he might have smiled at the funny robot, but now was not the time. He continued his grindingly slow pace to the bathroom so he could clean and attempt to patch himself.

Nothing could have prepared him for the horror that waited in his reflection. He was thrown backwards by the sheer shock of what he saw gazing back at him with just as much disbelief and terror as was written his own face. His left eye was entirely black as though the soft sclera had been dyed in the most permanent Indian ink. His pupil, although dilated, was an angry red, the same color of maraschino cherry, almost neon in color. Intricate lines, similar to that of several lightning strikes, painted his sclera and his eyelids.

Tadashi hadn’t the faintest clue why only one eye had turned but there it was, blazing before him with the fury of all the demons that plagued him. There was absolutely no escaping the truth or hiding it from someone else. So he did the only thing he think of. His hand curled into a fist reached up and struck at the mirror, effectively cracking it. His reflection still stared back in desperation, split into hundreds of tiny shards. He raised both his hands and with a shout brought them back down again, finally shattering the mirror. Fragments of the looking glass rained down upon him. His hands however, remained uncut and undamaged, further proof of his abnormal condition.

The tears began to fall again, and Tadashi slid to the bathroom floor, finally breaking down. He would never be normal again. He was damned to a life of suffering and hiding from everyone he ever held close.

The wound on his stomach had healed somewhat, finally having stopped bleeding, but his body had seemed to stop rebuilding itself, the progress further stalled by the ravenousness that continued to push at the back of his mind. He wouldn’t, no… He refused to devour another living being. He was Tadashi Hamada, the young college student whom, at the age of 19, created a functioning medical bot meant revolutionize the medical world and help all kinds of people. He would not sink down to the same level of _creature_ that took he and his brothers parents from them.

 _What will your brother think of you now?_ He grimaced at the thought. Oh Hiro, he was likely going to run, report him, turn him in to the CCG. But no matter, he wasn’t safe for Hiro anyhow. He never was, he always considered himself a failure of a brother. After all, who falls in love with their sibling? He was a sick individual, but before he could live with himself, keep his feelings and desires hidden and buried deep inside. But now he could be compared to an animalistic monster, with no control and no remorse. Tadashi didn’t know how to keep himself sane, and he doubted he could do it for much longer.

Tadashi, already quaking in fear, heard the sound of the lock turning and the front door being thrust open. _He’s going to be so disgusted with you._

“Tadashi?!” he could hear Hiro rustling around in the kitchen and his footsteps thudding across the floor. He sounded frantic, as he opened and shut doors, no doubt looking for his ragged excuse of a brother. “Tadashi! Are you okay?!” he could hear Hiro coming down the hall. Panic dropped into the pit of his stomach and he backed into the corner, drawing his hood up as he went.

“Hiro please, just go away…” he bowed his head. He didn’t want to be seen, he didn’t even want to be alive anymore.

“Tadashi there’s blood everywhe-Oh my God what happened?!” Having finally found the wreck that was Tadashi, he grabbed a rag and immediately wet it so he could help clean his tattered sibling up. He knelt down in front of Tadashi, who had not moved, and attempted to coax his brother out of his huddled form.

“Hiro, I said go away…” Tadashi mumbled through his knees. He slowly lifted his head keeping his left eye covered with his hand.

“Don’t be an idiot, you’ve got blood all over you! What happened, did you get in a fight or where you attacked? Should I call the police or something?” Hiro dabbed at his cut, washing the semi-dried blood from his hairline.

“Hiro, get off of me, I’m not safe.” He started shaking, not from fear but from anger. The knucklehead had no idea what he was doing.

“Hold still you dummy, and move your ha-” Hiro attempted to pry Tadashi’s palm off of his face.

He finally snapped and shoved Hiro away with his right hand, turning his left away from the teen. Hiro was launched several feet backwards by a strength much stronger than that of a typical human. “I said get off, Hiro!”

Hiro rubbed his head and found his bearings and then shot Tadashi a hateful glare, unaware of his brother’s situation. “What the hell was that, asshole?! I come back from the store to find blood streaked across both sides of the door, all over the tile, my brother bloody mess on the bathroom floor, surround by broken glass and you expect me not to be concerned or even a bit scared? What the fuck is your problem ?!”

“I’ll take care of it Hiro, just go away.” Hiro stared back in astonishment, his brows knit together in anger and confusion.

“Go away? Go _away_?! God, you’re so fucking dense sometimes! Since you got back from that accident last week you’ve been moody, you haven’t eaten _anything_ , and you keep staring off into space muttering to yourself. And now you’re sitting in the bathroom, probably bleeding out on floor and you expect me to ‘ _go away’_?!” Hiro was crying now too, hot tears streamed down his porcelain cheeks. They were so round and soft looking, they looked so good…. Tadashi mentally kicked himself for even daring to look at his little brother like that. He really was a monster.

“Hiro, you need to listen to me, I’m not safe. You’re in danger and you need to get out _now_.” He locked his single amber eye with Hiro’s own two brown orbs.

“Why would you be dangerous…?” Hiro’s voice dropped to a whisper, his composure clearly breaking down in front of his brother.

Tadashi silenced for a moment then shakily removing his hand from his left eye. His movements were slow and hesitant. He watched Hiro’s face contort into an expression of horror, the realization of his brother’s predicament hitting him like bullet. For a moment he just stared, but eventually Hiro leaned forward, extending his hand. Tadashi caught it, shoving his limb back at him.

“Don’t you listen Hiro? I’m a monster! Get out of here now!” Tadashi proceeded to further curl in on himself. He couldn’t hold on to himself back for much longer, the way Hiro’s muscles were poised and held taught, the why his ivory flesh wrapped around the sinew and bone, the way his pink lips fit perfectly into his soft face… Tadashi finally snapped. Hiro’s smell, and Hiro’s skin and Hiro, Hiro, Hiro. He wanted to tear the pretty flesh right off his skin, drag the muscle from his bones, and devour his beating heart. He wanted to feel the warmth leave his body, see the light leave the boy’s panic stricken eyes as his foot descended through his ribcage. He wanted to hear the bones crack underneath his feet; Hiro's screaming and crying for help filling his ears like sweet music.

Hiro noticed Tadashi was shaking and put his hand out to comfort him. Tadashi snatched his wrist, squeezing and twisting it away. It was all too late when Hiro realized Tadashi’s trembling was not from crying, but from quiet laughter. He snickered audibly, lifting his head to look at Hiro before jumping on top of him.

“Tadashi…?” for the first time that night Hiro look afraid, not for Tadashi, but for himself. He could feel the shattered glass from the mirror under him as Tadashi hovered over him, keeping Hiro’s arms pinned beneath him.

“Oh, Hiro…. You foolish boy.” Tadashi’s face was dark, but the smirk that painted his face was not missed by the younger sibling. The intensity of Tadashi’s red eye had grown, and now the crimson lines extended almost all the way to his cheek. “I told you I wasn’t safe, I told you to get out, and you didn’t listen.” He dug his nails into Hiro’s skin for effect. Hiro whimpered audibly but said nothing.

“Hiro…” he leaned in close to the shell of his ear, his breath causing Hiro to shudder. “Dear brother… I’m going to eat you.” And with that that he bit down hard on Hiro’s trapezius muscle, relishing the way his teeth sunk into the soft flesh, the way it tore underneath his tongue. The metallic taste of blood was more than sweet Tadashi, and savored the taste of the vital liquid. The bite he’d made was not essentially deep, however it immediately began to bleed profusely. He admired the way the blood dripped down the pale skin and soaked into the shirt. He shifted his arms to support himself better, before continuing lap at the fluid flowed continuously from the wound and gnaw at the flesh.

Arms snaked their way around Tadashi’s waist, and Hiro pulled himself closer and held onto Tadashi for the dear life he doubted he’d have much longer.

“Okay.” The words were shaky, and barely audible, but spoken nonetheless. Tadashi stalled his actions, his conscience slowly brought back by the quavering teen beneath him. He felt his hunger slowly begin to fade, his body resuming its healing. It was then that he realized exactly what he’d been doing, and what he was about to do.

“Oh my god…” Tadashi bowed his head into the crook of Hiro’s neck and began to cry, for the third time that night. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t know what I was… I couldn’t control…”excuse after excuse poured from Tadashi’s reddened lips, the proof of his sin staining him like wine on a tablecloth. Slowly he rolled onto his side, bringing Hiro closer to him and just sobbed into his shoulder.

Hiro didn’t speak, he just held tightly to Tadashi, clinging to the back of his hoodie. His knuckles turned white and stood out against the stark black fabric. Small shards of glass dug painfully into his arm, but he didn’t care, he was close to Tadashi. The closest he’d gotten in 5 years, the last time having been when he was thirteen. That’s when he’d started change. That’s when his feelings started to change too, the ones towards people that really shouldn’t change. He began to see his brother differently, and not in a good way. His feelings towards his brother were taboo and he knew it. He thought they’d fade eventually but now they were stronger than ever.

Tadashi’s lamentations soon subsided, and they were left among the ruin and shards with only their thoughts to occupy them. The still held tightly to each other, neither one daring to separate from the other.

“Tadashi..?” Hiro spoke first, testing the waters carefully with his tongue. “Tadashi, I don’t know what we’re gonna do about this… and I understand you’re scared… but we can get help somewhere. You… don’t have to be afraid of hurting people... of hurting me…” he spoke slowly, making sure Tadashi was listening.

“I don’t know what I can do… but I don’t want to hurt you. I’m not just… whatever I am now…  I’ve also had…” he paused, unsure if he should continue. No, he had to, the truth had to come out. “I’ve had… feelings for you… for a while now. And I know they’re wrong… I just can’t stand the thought of hurting you… one way or another.” A single tear slid down his cheek, knowing he very well he might have just signed his death warrant. Should Hiro decide to report him for his feelings and his change in species, he would be turned over to CCG. And if they didn’t kill him, they’d definitely experiment and torture him until he went insane.

Hiro wiggled loose of Tadashi’s arms and rolled them over until Tadashi was on his back and he was sitting on top of him. His hair covered his eyes and he seemed expressionless in the moonlight that streamed in from the small window. Tadashi stared at him, unsure of what he was doing.

Slow and deliberate Hiro leaned over and gently pressed their lips together. Tadashi stayed motionless a moment before tilting his up and leaning into the kiss.

“You don’t have to worry…” Hiro lifted his head and rested his forehead against Tadashi’s, closing his eyes. “I have feelings for you too… and I’ve been scared for a long time. I thought you might have somehow found out or something. I thought you might hate me.” He brushed his nose against Tadashi’s, basking in the shared intimacy. Tadashi reached up with one hand and stroked Hiro’s hair, cupping his cheek before kissing him deeply. Hiro sighed into the kiss, moving his lips against Tadashi’s. It was not an inherently sexual kiss, it straddled the line between desperate and relief. It lasted forever but not long enough, Tadashi separating before gently pressing a peck to Hiro’s nose.

“I could never hate you, Hiro. I love you too much.” Tadashi whispered. He held Him close, listening to the constant reassuring thud of Hiro’s heart, his warm breath bestowing life back into his hopelessly lost heart. They laid like that for some time, with only the moon shining through the small window to illuminate their broken figures.

Eventually they got up; Tadashi cleaned up the shattered mirror and Hiro sat nearby on the edge of the tub. He motioned for Hiro to start the bath, so they could clean up and sleep. They were both exhausted and cried out, only the hollow feeling of afterthought remained with them; their bodies were still with the consideration of the boundaries that were crossed, and the struggle they would face. Tadashi would struggle more so, knowing deep down the only way to survive would be to consume human flesh and blood. He scoffed at his ironic circumstance, feeling a newfound loathing for ghouls and monsters alike.

Eventually the bath was drawn, and they both deposited their clothes, entirely too tired to care for the shame that came with exposing their bruised and wounded bodies. They now sat in the warm water, Hiro with his back to Tadashi whilst his brother cleaned the bite wound he’d so viciously made earlier. The water stung slightly, not akin to that of salt in a cut; it was painful but only slightly so, starting out as a sharp bite, then fading to a dull sting.

Tadashi’s stomach was nearly healed by then, only a slight scar and a dull ache to show for his trouble, and even the scar was beginning to fade fast. He was thankful for the quick recovery but only so much, as it was a painful reminder of what he had become. He decided for the time being not to dwell too much on it… at least until the morning.

Hiro let out a sharp hiss, notifying Tadashi that his hands were moving slightly rougher than he preferred. Tadashi mumbled an apology before continuing to clean the bite-mark. It wasn’t deep, but the skin was ragged and uneven from areas where his teeth had scrapped rather than cut. There was no chance of it healing without leaving an ugly scar, and for this Tadashi was remorseful.

Once they were both washed of the carnage that preciously tarnished them, Tadashi dressed Hiro’s bite, then wrapped the younger in a soft white towel, before wrapping one around himself and scooping Hiro up to carry him to their shared bedroom.

“You know, I can walk myself, right?” Hiro asked softly. His voice was tired, but playful.

“Of course… but I like holding you in my arms.” Tadashi admitted. Hiro blushed buried his face in Tadashi’s neck, clinging tightly to his older brother. When they had reached the bedroom Tadashi set Hiro on his own bed before returning to his own side of the bedroom and closing the rice paper divider to give Hiro some privacy.

Tadashi was putting on his own garments when he heard a soft tapping on the divider.

“Tadashi? I um… I was um… I was wondering if I could, you know, sleep you tonight…?” Tadashi finished putting on his shirt and pulled open the false translucent wall, revealing a slightly flustered Hiro fidgeting with the edge of his oversized SFIT hoodie. His gaze softened at his lover and his shyness.

“Sure, Hiro.” Hiro smiled and ran to hop on his bed. He turned off the light and turned to join Hiro who was already making himself comfortable under the covers. Tadashi pulled Hiro closer to him, cupping his face and kissing his lips softly before tucking his arm under Hiro, who snuggled in next to Tadashi, fitting his head under Tadashi’s and folding his arms up between their chests. Their legs intertwined, and soon Hiro was asleep, breathing softly against Tadashi’s neck.

For Tadashi however, sleep eluded him as he thought of the night’s horrors and events. He couldn’t help but feel bothered by thoughts of what could happen, and what was to come. His last thoughts before drifting into a restless, dreamless sleep were that he was not simply a victim of circumstance, and that he and Hiro’s lives were in grave danger.

 


	2. Silence of The Lamb

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hold on it's gonna be a bumpy ride
> 
> i can already hear most of you crying

_Ten days from the present_

Tadashi had walked out the door, solemnly stating he was “going for a walk”. The frenzied light in his eyes spoke so many more volumes than the single statement, and Hiro knew exactly what he really meant. He only nodded slowly and uttered a “be careful” before the door shut softly with a click.

Hiro had been looking for other resources so his brother wouldn’t have to be forced to hunt down and slay unwilling victims, but in all reality any other solutions were just gruesome as the last. Hiro attempted to abandon his morality for a moment and think logically but always ended up shaking his head disgust. So far he had only come up with stealing cadavers or pieces of them from medical research labs in SFIT, and he couldn’t even bring himself to attempt such a thing.

When Tadashi had returned later that night, he was once again covered in blood again, though not nearly as much as the last time. Hiro let him clean himself up before going and curling up in his lap on the couch. He did not speak, he only held his aching brother in his arms and drew nonsense patterns gently into his shirt.

Eventually Tadashi spoke, his voice was quiet and shaky.

“I… I found someone… Some people who might be able to help us.” He went on to tell Hiro what all had happened that night, how he had come across a woman with short black hair with purple streaks. How she had stared hard and long at Tadashi before telling him to take to another ward, this one was overrun as it was, before turning around to take care of the freshly slain human in front of her.

“I can share if you like.”

Tadashi sank to his knees in front of her, tears threatening to spill at the scene in front of him He watched her tear off a large chunk of flesh and toss it at him, it landed with a subtle _splat_. It laid in front of him, and he was unable to tear his eyes away from it.

“Eat it,” she had said. “Eat it, for fuck’s sake you’re starving and that is not a path you want to travel down.” Tadashi shook his head over and over, saying no, he wasn’t a ghoul, he couldn’t do that, and no no no he wouldn’t eat it. The woman’s look had grown hard and she stood, her stance strong and aggressive. Walking forward she grabbed the dripping muscle from the ground and ran at Tadashi with an unholy speed, shoving the chunk in his mouth. He was caught off guard, and it hurt. He could feel the flesh and blood on his tongue, against his teeth, and on his lips. And the worst part was that he _liked it._ He liked it and he wanted _more._ God he was _so hungry,_ and it was _so wrong._ He coughed and sputtered but ultimately he was forced to swallow. He felt the grit from the ground and the way the flesh slid down his throat, and he shuttered and gagged.

“What the hell?” Tadashi managed to wheeze out. He wiped the sanguine fluid from his jaw. The ghoul in front of him grabbed his hair and hoisted his head up until he was eye level with her.

“I don’t know who you are or _what_ you are,” she paused to look at his left eye.  “But you definitely aren’t human. Woman up and eat the damn thing.” Her hand released and he collapsed at her feet. She turned and walked back to the ghoul and began to eat again, dismissing Tadashi’s horrified stare as he watched her tear chunk after chunk of skin off the body.

The clicking of shoes could be heard but the ghoul in front of Tadashi paid no mind. A tall blonde woman with green eyes walked around the corner, though she didn’t seem phased in the slightest about the gore that was strewn all over the concrete, in fact she seemed rather excited.

“There you are Gogo, I thought I lost you. And you started without me, darn it… who’s this?” She turned to face Tadashi and both of her eyes were pitch black with a red pupil. _Another ghoul,_ Tadashi thought.

“I don’t know but he won’t eat, and he thinks he’s a human or something.” She shook her head spitting out a not so subtle "pathetic" before tearing another piece off the rapidly cooling corpse.

The blonde ghoul smiled sweetly and walked over to him to examine his face. Tadashi wanted to move, run, scream, do anything other than let the _creature_ in front of him touch him, but he did nothing. She gently grabbed his chin her well-manicured hands and turned it slightly so she could see it in the stark lighting. Her eyes widened and she brushed her thumb under his eye, wiping away tears.

“Only one Kakugan, huh? Gogo, maybe we should take him to Cass, he looks…” she paused for a moment before looking a Tadashi’s eye once more. “… Special.”

“Hmph, leave him. He’s not our problem and we shouldn’t make him or problem. Did you bring the wrappings?” The blonde ghoul stood and handed ‘Gogo’ a thick roll of butcher paper and twine out of her rather large purse. She also pulled out a small note pad and pen. Scribbling quickly, she grabbed one of the packages and tied it up, sticking the note under the string.

“Here,” she said, placing the package in Tadashi’s hands. “This is for you. It should last you a few days. You look like you’ve been through a lot, so it’s the least I can do to help you. My name is Honey Lemon, and if you need anything just call me. I put my number, and the Lucky Cat’s address on there. When you need more, just go in and ask for Cass. I promise she’ll be more than happy to help you. Now go home. Be careful. Stay in the shadows and don’t make eye contact with anybody.” She pulled his hood on lightly and stroked his cheek. “Hey now, you will be alright.”

Tadashi choked back a sob and nodded before standing. “Thank you… for this…” he glanced down at the package in his hands. “I’m sorry to have caused you trouble, I just… I don’t know what to do.” Tears began to fall again like fresh dew rolling off a spider web

“Hey there sweetie, we all have our bad days.” Honey lemon squeezed his shoulder reassuringly. “Go on now.” She walked Tadashi to the edge of the corner, where she stopped and watched him go. As soon as he was out of sight he started running. And oh, how he ran, his heart beat out his chest, his throat burned thick with lack of air, but he didn’t stop running until he reached home.

Hiro looked at Tadashi with wide eyes, unsure of what to say. His brother stared pointedly at the package in front of him; Hiro could practically see the gears turning in his brain. Hiro nuzzled his brother’s neck, kissing him reverently next to his jugular.

“We should go there then. If not for… _supplies_ … then maybe for some answers as to what’s going on with…” He trailed off, his brother’s face frowning having gone dark in the dimly lit room. He didn’t want to push his brother any farther, considering the things he had seen and witnessed. Tadashi was damaged, and it would take a long time for him to repair... assuming he could do such a thing at all.

Tadashi stared fir a moment longer before looking Hiro softly.He leaned in and tilted the younger’s head up and kissed him long and hard, moving slowly against his soft lips. His tongue slid against Hiro’s bottom lip, who opened his mouth and bid Tadashi entrance with his tongue. But despite how Hiro felt about his brother, it felt… wrong. As wrong as wrong could feel when making out with one's brother.  _Not tonight_ he thought. Tadashi needed to rest, to sleep and think and sort things out. Besides, he really wasn't in the mood for the night.

Before he knew it, Tadashi laid them out on the couch so that Hiro was comfortable and Tadashi hovered over him closely, leaving small nips and kisses on Hiro’s neck, carefully avoiding the still healing bite. Hiro’s breath became short; letting out little pants as his eyes fluttered shut. Tadashi’s hand went up his shirt, he felt his brother’s strong, calloused hands rubbing circles into his hot, flushed skin.  _I have to stop this before it goes too far,_ he thought.

“Tah… Tadashi…” Hiro struggled to focus, his brother’s gentle ministrations blurring and muddling his thought process. He felt Tadashi’s thumb press against his thigh as he continued to suck and make deep purple bruises, possessively marking the boy as his own.  _Enough..._

“Tadashi, stop.” Hiro pushed up against his brother’s chest, separating the older from him. Reluctantly Tadashi sat up, and watched Hiro sit up as well. “I’m sorry… I just, I think you... me... we've had enough for today. For God’s sake you watched a person get torn apart and _eaten,_ it’s not something you’re just gonna forget. You need to sleep.” He watched his brother look down at his hands, his face was dark and sad.

“I’m sorry, Hiro… I just want to forget. All of this-” he waved his hand at the brown package. “All of this, this fucked up shit. I just want to feel human, I want to BE human… It’s the way I feel when I’m with you.” He sighed, turning to look out the window. The yellow lamp light cast his face in a golden melancholy, his features were tired and stressed. Hiro watched as a single tear fell from the corner of his eye.

Something planted itself in Hiro's stomach at that moment. It was an ugly emotion, a spiky weed growing in the garden of his being. He could taste it on his tongue, it was a feeling of betrayal. The feeling of being used for someone else's personal desires. He felt for Tadashi's pain but this was... This hurt. It burned to the very core of his body surged through his veins like poison. But he said nothing. He merely got up and took the package from the table, gripping the rough outside wrapping tightly in his hands.

 "I'm going to go take care of this..." was all he said before swiftly exiting the room. He could feel Tadashi's eyes on him as he left but he didn't dare turn around. The tears were streaming down his face, he choked back a sob and slid to the floor against the cabinets in the kitchen. The offending package of supposed muscle weighed heavily in his hands and threw it down on the ground; his silent and muffled crying disturbing the still air in the kitchen.

How could Tadashi do that to him? Tell him he loved him, that he didn't want to hurt him, and then use him like that? He didn't care _what_ Tadashi felt like, Hiro was not something for him to use to cope with his tragic mishap. He cried himself out on the tiled floor that. And for the first time that night since Tadashi stumbled home they didn't sleep together. Hiro crawled into his own cold bed, and put his back towards the rice paper divider.

He didn't know of his brothers guilt, nor that Tadashi was lying awake on the other side, haunted by his own selfish actions. He didn't sleep at all that night.

\---

_Seven days from the present_

There was thick stiffness between the brothers for the past three days, neither of them spoke or even looked at each other. For the most part they just avoided each other. Hiro, stewing amongst his own resentment for his brothers actions, had no clue of Tadashi's guilt that was eating away at him. It was almost as bad as the hunger that slept peacefully in his stomach for the time being.

Tadashi continued going to college, and Hiro, for the lack of nothing better to do, wandered the city. He wasn't really looking to bot fight for cash or anything. Just something to distract him. However he was unable to concentrate. Time and time again he nearly lost, his thoughts having diverted his attention. He never stayed long, not bothering to con the people he played against. He bet, fought, won, and then left.

Time was consumed and soon he found himself wandering the streets late at night near a shopping locality; shops and restaurants glowing in dark blue evening, signs and lights scattered about to lure tourists and shoppers inside. At the corner of the street something in particular caught his eye. A large, white pewter maneki-neko cheerfully smiled and waved down from the rooftop it was perched upon. The words _Lucky Cat Café_ glowed in orange neon. The Café itself wasn’t super busy, but there were a few people visiting, laughing or reading over various café drinks, and Japanese, American, and French pastries. The rest of it remained fairly quiet. But for whatever reason, the warm interior beckoned him, and he found himself at a small corner table with a daifukumochi half-eaten on a plate. He watched several customers come and go from the small shop.

He was milling around in his mind palace, searching for some logic and perhaps reason for Tadashi’s actions when the bells above the door tinkled cheerfully. He watched as his own brother entered and walked to the small woman working behind the counter. He regarded Tadashi warily as he murmured a few things to the woman and handed her a note. She smiled warmly and bid him take a seat at the counter while she went to the back for something. Hiro took the chance and got up and abandoning his bean pastry, quietly slipping into the stool next to Tadashi. His brother didn't seem to notice him at first, and then looked particularly startled when he noticed his younger sibling next to him, staring passively up at him with little expression on his delicate face.

"Hiro! I, uh... what are... what are you doing here?" he looked oddly suspicious, keeping his voice low and glancing around every so often.

"Dude, I've been here for like, an hour. What are YOU doing here?" Hiro raised his eyebrows, feigning curiosity.

"The uh, the lady I was just talking to said she could um, help with uh-you know," he glanced around looking the cafe once more. "The _thing_." His voice dropped several levels; Hiro almost didn't hear him.

"Oh... I see." Silence hung in the air between them, and the nearby clock ticked awfully loud. The last few customers were exiting the establishment, talking animatedly and bidding their friends goodbye. Tadashi shifted awkwardly in his seat. He looked like he was about to say something when the lady came back from the kitchen with a steaming pot of black coffee. She set it down carefully and began pouring a fresh cup, which she set in front of Tadashi.

"There you go sweetie, give it a try." She watched him expectantly, her hazel eyes wide in anticipation. Tadashi carefully lifted the mug to his lips, his posture spelled hesitancy. The hot bitter liquid washed over his tongue, however it was as sweet as bitter could be. It still tasted the same, and it didn't want to make him empty all the contents of his stomach.

Not wishing to be rude he set the cup down again and gave a wan smile. "It's good." The lady grinned, her smile was bright and reassuring.

"Oooh, that's fantastic! Can I help you young man?" She was looking at Hiro politely, a soft smile adorning her lips.

"Oh... I um, I'm his brother." Hiro managed to stutter.

"Oh okay! You stay put and I'll pour you some in a moment okay? I'm gonna go lock up considering there's no more customers this evening." She moved from behind the counter, taking a set of keys with her. Locking the door she looked around to make sure there was no one else in the cafe before she collected the last few dishes and returned to the counter.

"Okay sweetie, what seems to be the trouble? You look like you've been through quite a lot recently." She set a fresh cup of coffee in front of Hiro and leaned on the counter to listen to Tadashi's tale of woe.

"Well, um, about a week and a half ago I was attacked by a ghoul. I was trying to run from him and we ended up in this construction area and there was an accident. I still don't really remember what happened but I ended up being buried under a pile of rubble and construction beams, along with the ghoul who was chasing me. My internal organs were damaged beyond repair, and so they opted to transplant the ghouls organs into me. And since then I haven't been able to eat food, I'm constantly hungry and the other night I um..." his face darkened and he grimaced thinking about that night. "I attacked Hiro. I bit a chunk of skin out of his shoulder. I don't understand what's going on. Sometimes my left eye turns black with a red pupil, and this almost savage animal instinct takes over and it makes me want to... it makes me want to..." Tadashi still couldn't say it. He wiped his eyes with his sleeve and took a deep heavy breath. "I don't know what's wrong with me, and I'm so, so scared right now. I don't know what to do. I was hoping you might be able to help me." He looked up at the woman, his eyes pleading with her.

"That's... quite the tale you've got there. You say you were human before the surgery?" She looked puzzled, tilting her head slightly. Her titan hair bounced slightly, curling this way and that.

"Yes, that's correct." He was fidgeting nervously again, under the scrutiny of a woman who could no doubt tear him apart if she wanted to. She was silent a moment before speaking up, though not in the bubbly persona she had first portrayed.

"I've never heard of something like this happening, and I'm not sure what it means. I've heard of one eyed ghouls before but I didn't think they actually might exist... The circumstances for one being born naturally are extremely rare, but never have I heard of transplanting. It sounds to me like your body has adapted to the new organs, and you've become part ghoul. I don't know what other information I can give you... This is all so bizarre. I'm sorry." she smiled sympathetically, reaching out to squeeze Tadashi's shoulder.

"What can I do then? If I'm stuck like this... what can I do?" Tadashi said softly. Hiro had never seen his brother look so lost in his life. He was supposed to be the strong one, the one to lead Hiro and be there for him, but he look so vulnerable, like he had nothing left to live for.

"Well; Tadashi was it? If you'd prefer not to hunt for meat, you can come to us and we'll provide it for you. You can live here too if you need a place to stay, in exchange you work in the cafe during the day and run errands for me at night. There's four other kids living here as well. Of course, they're all full blooded ghouls so they may be hostile at first, but they'll warm up to you, I'm sure." She was now wiping down the counters and equipment now; she'd look up occasionally and smile reassuringly. Hiro stared down into his coffee, now cold and only half drunk. His reflection stared back at him, pasted with the same face he always wore when he was upset. It was becoming harder to stay mad at Tadashi.

"I don't know... I don't want to be a burden or anything. I still have college to worry about and Hiro, he's-he's human so he still has to eat real food, and I don't know if it's safe for a human to be in a house full of ghouls... I'm sorry, I just don't know what to do." Tadashi looked rather frantic now, like all the options were weighing against him. Hiro sighed; he knew what he had to do.

"Do it, Tadashi." the elder turned to look at Hiro, who was lazily stirring his coffee, staring straight ahead at the wall. "Stop worrying about me for once and worry about yourself. I don't care if we move or not, it's not like we have a whole lot of stuff to begin with."

"Hiro..." he was abruptly cut off by Hiro, who whipped his head around to glare at Tadashi.

"I'm not _safe_ if you're always _hungry_ , right, _big brother?_ I'd hate to make you feel like you're a _threat_ or something."

"Do you two want to think about it and then contact me later? There's really no rush." The woman sensed the brothers' tension.

"Yeah, that would be nice. I'll stop by after class tomorrow or something." Tadashi offered, still looking Hiro who was glaring daggers into the wall.

"That's fine. Let me at least pack you something to go. Honey Lemon mentioned the other day she gave you a package, but I doubt that'll last you longer then another day." Before Tadashi could object, she was bustling back into the kitchen.

Tadashi got down on Hiro's level. "We need to talk when we get home." he hissed. He was quite tired of playing the silence game, and he didn't want to make a scene in the lovely ladies cafe. What was her name again? Cassandra? Ms. Cassandra maybe? He couldn't remember. Hiro only rolled his eyes in response. 

The lady then came back with a lucky cat to-go bag, and placed two heavily wrapped packages inside it.

"There you are, sweetheart. And don't worry about them or the coffee. They're on the house." She smiled and held out her hand. Tadashi took it and shook it gently.

"Thank you, Ms. Cassandra." He said.

"Oh please, call me Aunt Cass. That's what everybody around here calls me." She gave a friendly wink before turning back to cleaning up the rest of the cafe.

"Thank you again... Aunt Cass, I'll be back tomorrow." Tadashi waved shyly before beckoning Hiro to follow. Hiro begrudgingly slid off the stool and trotted after his brother, avoiding his face. They weren't too far from the apartment, maybe a ten minute walk away. The air had grown crisp and few of the shops had closed for the night, leaving the street quieter than when they had arrived. There were a few people still milling about, likely on their way home as the brothers were.

They walked a ways before finding themselves on a quiet street with no other pedestrians. Tadashi turned to Hiro who was trudging along about five feet behind him.

“Alright, out with it. Why are you upset with me?” Hiro stopped and stared at the ground. He hadn’t felt more stupid than he did in that very moment. He'd spent the past five minutes stewing over his misinterpretation of Tadashi's words.  Here his brother was, trying to make amends, and Hiro was mad at him because he wanted to make out the other night. He'd even stopped when Hiro asked. Hiro still felt slightly torqued, mostly for they way Tadashi tried to justify his actions, but in all honesty, his brother was not the type to use him for petty things like sex. He was an esteemed person, someone who placed great value in other people and put them before himself. Hiro had simply misunderstood his meaning and now, he was kicking himself mentally. _Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! God I’m such an idiot!_ Tadashi wasn't trying to _use_ him. He was trying to just trying to feel again. Feel his brother, feel the warmth against his body, feel Hiro’s soft black hair, his smooth skin, feel him breathe and shudder beneath him… To feel human with his lover. 

Hiro looked up at Tadashi. There were tears in his eyes, and he was trying so hard not to shake.

“Tadashi… Tadashi, I’m sorry!” He wiped his eyes with his sleeve in an effort to wipe away his tears. “I misunderstood what you meant the other night… I thought… I thought you were just trying to use me for sex.” He choked out a sob while rubbing his face. _God I’m an idiot…_ He was crying harder now, shaking with all his anxiety and fears. He felt strong arms enveloping him; they rocked him back and forth as Tadashi hushed his keening.

“You have every right to feel that way.” Tadashi’s voice was soft and hollow, like he was speaking to a frightened fawn. “Don’t ever let me take advantage of you. No means no, and I will always listen. I’m sorry I made you feel this way.” He continued to hold Hiro until he had settled down.  _So I was right to feel that way..._  

“I’m sorry, I was just afraid that this whole ghoul thing changed you, and I was scared.” Hiro rubbed his nose into Tadashi’s shirt, inhaling his scent. Tadashi knelt down and held Hiro's face in his hands; taking in his reddened cheeks and watery eyes while brushing the pad of his thumb back and forth.

"I might change Hiro... but I will always love you." He kissed Hiro's forehead, lingering for a moment. "Let's go home." He took Hiro's hand and together they walked down the fluorescent streetlights.

It was quite late now; they didn't pass any people, only a few cars. However a lone figure standing under a bus stop did catch Tadashi's eye. Something about the person gave him the chills, their face was obscured by shadows, and they wore a grey trench coat and carried a silver briefcase. It was the fact that they seemed to be staring right at Tadashi that had him unnerved. It felt like they were staring straight through his being; analyzing him, collecting data, gathering info like a stone cold machine. Tadashi made no indication he had seen the person however, and merely continued walking with Hiro in tow.

They were nearly home and Tadashi still felt like a pair of eyes were still glued to his back. He glanced around, and noticed no one. They were alone.

"Tadashi, are you okay? You look really nervous." Hiro gazed up at him, his eyebrows knit together with concern.

"I'm fine. Let's just get inside, I'm really tired is all." Hiro shrugged and pulled Tadashi up the flight of stairs and into their small apartment. He jumped into Tadashi's bed, not bothering to relieve himself of his clothes. Tadashi joined him momentarily; crawling into bed and snuggling up next to Hiro, who was huddled in a little ball.

"It's freezing on your side of the room, bro." Hiro mumbled into the sheets. They felt foreign against his cold feet; he pulled them in closer.

"I'll turn up the heat in the morning." Tadashi nuzzled Hiro's neck with his nose and breathed in his scent. It was different now, he noticed. It hadn't changed but at the same time it was different, better than it was before. More intoxicating.

Hiro shuffled around so he was facing his older brother and leaned in rather close to his ear. "I certainly hope so..." He whispered seductively. He felt Tadashi shiver underneath him and smirked.

"Go to sleep, you dork." He hugged Hiro closer, and pressed a chaste kiss on top of his forehead. Soon he felt Hiro's breath become deeper and more regulated, notifying him of his brothers sleeping state. He himself was extremely tired but paranoia still clung to the back of his neck. He still felt like he was being watched, and from where he didn't know. He soon drifted off, the soft cooing of a dove gently pushing him over the edge and into a deep dreamless sleep.

\---

_The present_

Tadashi paced back and forth across the floor of their new shared flat. Six days ago they'd agreed live above the Lucky Cat. It had taken quite a bit of convincing from Hiro, but eventually Tadashi caved and allowed it. It was similar to their previous dwelling, they still shared a room and bathroom. However their kitchen was quite a bit smaller, leaving a large amount of space open for their desks and such. It was just as well, Hiro was the only one who used it. There was also a kotatsu with a red cover stationed at the center of the room. Tadashi had done a fair amount of his studying sitting under the table’s warmth, often with Hiro sitting across from him doodling pictures of robots and the like.

Of course the fee for staying was that they help with the cafe, and Tadashi had come to find that Hiro quite enjoyed working there. _Why_ , Tadashi didn't know but he was glad because it kept him busy instead of out wandering the streets. He himself was only able to work for a few hours before retiring to their quarters to study.

The other inhabitants were nice for the most part. He’d first met Fred, who was tall and lanky, wearing a green beanie on his head and a shirt depicting a monster of sorts breathing fire. He’d walked straight up to Tadashi and sniffed him. “Dude you smell different, like ghoul mixed with human or something.” Was the first thing out of his mouth. He proved to be very laid back and open, and right off the bat he got along with Hiro and showed him his whole comic book collection, even letting him borrow a few copies.

Wasabi had been next and had to have been the biggest neat freak Tadashi had ever met in his life. Once he got past the constant cleaning and instruction on how to precisely rearrange the chairs in the café so that “nobody would trip in the middle of the night”, one could find he was actually a very nice person. He showed Tadashi how to brew coffee just right, and which brands were the best to buy.

Honey Lemon, one of the girls he'd run into the other night, was just as sweet as when he'd last seen her. She was enthusiastic and quite the optimist, and she immediately adored Hiro and showered him with affection like that of an older sister.

The other girl, Gogo, was less than enthusiastic. In fact she made her feelings on the two brothers quite clear by stating that they were “trouble waiting to happen”. She rarely spoke, but when she did, she often sound bored, sarcastic, or just downright pissed off. She did take Tadashi under her wing and showed him how to fight, how to tell the difference between ghouls and humans, and how to use his _kagune_ , as they were called.

Tadashi had had no knowledge of his newfound ability, nor was he willing to use it at all anytime soon. The first time he was actually able to summon them was a painful ordeal in which Gogo had chased him and attacked him relentlessly until he was cornered and scared. The feeling of them coming out was none too pleasant either, it felt like the skin on the back of his shoulders was going to explode. It was painful as his flesh was torn open and there was a release, like all of the tension from his shoulders had gone. He was faintly aware of a light fluttering next to his neck. He looked up behind him and found scaly feather like appendages, almost like soft wings. The scales appeared to be a blue shimmering color, carrying from purple blue, to turquoise, to more a more greenish blue. They almost appeared to glow in the late night, casting an eerie blue glow. He maneuvered around a bit found that they were light and easy to jump with.

“Ukaku.”

“What?” Tadashi turned to find Gogo studying him intensely with her now reddened eyes. She released her own kagune, which had a similar appearance to his own, only they were red and orange in color.

“Your kagune are an Ukaku type kagune; there are four different types, and they all have different strengths.” Her kagune appeared to harden, no longer fluttering in the night breeze. She released a torrent of spike like fragments, all of them gathering at Tadashi’s feet. “For example, Ukaku type are capable of delivering high speed attacks and dealing with long and short distance battles.”

Tadashi looked at his kagune once more, mesmerized by the way it shimmered and glowed. “It looks like fire…” It was quite beautiful in his eyes, but he knew deep down that these would be the source of great pain and loss to those caught in its wake. He closed his eyes and willed them to go away so he wouldn’t have to think about them anymore. "I hope I never have to use these..."

He looked up at Gogo, who was scowling quite firmly at him. She marched up to him and shoved into the wall, keeping a painful grip on his upper arm.

"Look, _pal,_ I don't know who you think you are but you need to suck it up and come to terms with the fact that you _are_ a ghoul, and _nothing,_ I repeat, **_nothing_** , is going to change that. I don't care if you think we're the scum of the earth, whether you like it or not you're _one of us_." She was fuming mad, and she had every right to be, Tadashi thought. Who was he to think he was better than them? He wasn't. Not anymore at least.

Gogo had left him there after that, she'd walked away and left him sitting on the concrete to sort his thoughts. He came home late and Hiro had rushed up to him in a flurry of hugs and kisses, and practically dragged him into their bed. Tadashi hadn't been in the mood for any shenanigans that evening and he immediately bid Hiro goodnight and settled down for the night. Hiro had huffed and rolled his eyes but eventually came to settle down his arms. Tadashi, again, did not sleep that night, it was becoming a rather problematic theme in his life.

Not only was he sleep deprived but he still felt like he was being watched, particularly when he went outside. He continued to see white clad, silver briefcase carrying individuals. Tadashi's paranoia grew intense, and he didn't leave the Lucky Cat unless necessary, going to school and back without wasting any unnecessary time. He urged Hiro to do the same but Hiro, being the strong headed child he was did not listen. For this reason Tadashi now stood pacing in the living area of their flat, occasionally glancing at the clock.

 _It's nearly midnight. He should be home right now._ Concern left a crease on his forehead; he reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. A headache was brewing in the midst of his cranial activity, and it was becoming difficult to think. He picked up his phone and quickly dialed Hiro's number. The phone continued to ring, much to Tadashi's exasperation.

" _Hello, this is Hiro Hamada. I'm sorry I'm not able to get the phone right now but please leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can._ " Tadashi swore through his teeth and impatiently waited for the tone to play.

"Hey Hiro, it's really late and I'm really worried so if you could call me back, that would be really great. Please come home soon. Bye." He hit the 'End' button on his phone, throwing on the bed in frustration and collapsing there himself. He stared at the ceiling tiles, following the imaginary patterns with his eyes. Perhaps he was worried for no reason. Maybe... Maybe Hiro had just been out late and his cell phone had died. No, no, that wasn't it. He'd rigged his phone with super-capacitor batteries as soon as he bought the phone. The thing had like a 96 hour battery life.

Tadashi was interrupted from his thoughts by a knocking at the door. He jumped off his bed and practically flew to the door. Opening it, he found not Hiro, but Fred instead.

"Oh hey dude I just brought a couple comic issues I dug up for Hiro. I think he'll really like these ones, they've got a kid genius in them just like him, and it's full of robots and stuff. They're pretty funny too." He held out the issues with both hands, an easy going smile adorned his face.

"Oh... Uh, thanks." Tadashi took the comics disappointedly, glancing at the vibrant cover illustrations, featuring a silver samurai and what appeared to be a man made of plasma. "You haven't happened to have seen him around by chance? I'm kind of worried, and it's really late." Tadashi held out for a little bit of hope, maybe Hiro had been around the whole time.

"I saw him a few hours ago with that funny looking bot thing he has. He said he would be back later, but other than that, no. Sorry dude." Fred offered an concerned smile, tilting his head slightly. His words however hit Tadashi in the gut with like a cannon ball, and fear once more clung tightly to his spine.

"I see... Thanks anyway." Tadashi backed into the flat once more and started to close the door.

"Anytime, bro." Fred was gone as soon as he came and Tadashi was secretly thankful. He really hoped he wouldn't have to use _it_ again but desperate times called for desperate measures. He went back to his room and pulled out a GPS tracker from the back of his nightstand. It turned on at his touch and took a moment to load. A dot soon appeared, not to far from his current location but still in a very seedy part of San Fransokyo. Without delay he ran, not bothering to say a word to anyone else. He dashed through the empty streets and alleys, past the building, cars and shops. His lungs ached from the continual abuse and the lack of oxygen was burning in his throat like fire. He didn't falter though, he kept running and running and running.

Finally he found the coordinates he was looking for and looked around. There _had_ been a bot fight at one point, but the participants had long since gone back to their dwellings. Trash, broken beer bottles, and cigarette butts littered the street, and the faint white line of the ring was still visible in the middle of the street. But no Hiro.

Tadashi walked a little ways more, looking for anything that might lead him to his brother. Eventually he came upon Hiro's dark blue jacket, crumpled in the middle of the street. It was slightly torn at the shoulder, and damp from the ground. It had been there a while. Tadashi began to tremble as his worst fears were realized. Hiro’s luck had run out, and he likely took down the wrong people in a fight. He frantically searched the streets but to no avail. Tears pricked in his eyes and punched the brick walls in frustration. He wasn’t even able to protect his own brother.

He was on his way to the police station, when his phone rang. Hiro’s cheery face displayed itself on the screen and Tadashi wasted no time in answering it.

“Hello?! Hiro?! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Where are you?!” a flurry of questions left his mouth but they were all cut short as soon as he heard what was going on the background. He could hear faint weeping, someone begging and pleading for someone to stop. He was chilled to the very bone when he realized it was Hiro. He gripped the phone in his hand, the plastic creaking in protest under the pressure. His voice dropped several decibels so that he was almost growling.

“Who is this? Who are you and what the hell are you doing to my brother?” Tadashi was shaking in anger now, he was absolutely furious. How _dare_ someone even think of _touching_ his brother.

 

“ _Now, now, Mr. Hamada. I’d hate for you to upset him more than he already is.”_ The voice was familiar but Tadashi couldn’t place where he’d heard it before. He heard the faint snapping of fingers in the background and then Hiro screaming in agony. The shrill sound of his pleas echoed in Tadashi’s head, and pandemonium began to build.

“Where are you?! What do you want from me?!!” he snarled. His vision grew red and clouded, he could feel the tension in his shoulders building and bubbling up.

“ _Patience, Mr. Hamada. I only called to inform you that your dear little brother is going to undergo… a small surgical procedure if you don't decide to cooperate. I’m sure you’re familiar with this particular procedure,_ half ghoul.” He could almost feel the man grinning evilly through the phone.

“Don’t you fucking touch him! Get your filthy hands off of him!” His knuckles were white from clenching his fist. He gritted his teeth together, enamel grinding against enamel.

" _As if there were anything you could do to stop me... You don't even know our whereabouts. Which I will only inform you about if you do deice to cooperate."_ Tadashi growled in frustration, punching the brick wall next to him. The brittle exterior crumbled under Tadashi's fist, leaving a fair sized hole behind.

"WHERE IS HE?!!" His voice was coarse and barbaric, laced with the bitter fury that gripped him so. The dam that was Tadashi's willpower broke and all of his rage surged forth.

" _Mr. Hamada, I suggest you rein in that temper of yours if you ever want to see your brother again. I know you're living in a commune of ghouls, and I want every single one of them in exchange for your... precious little lover boy,"_ his words were iced with disgust, and the cool hatred immediately caused dread to drop in the pit of Tadashi's stomach. " _Furthermore, if you fail to bring me the said ghouls, I'm afraid I'll have to... Put down this sweet little child. Not only that but I will expose you as a ghoul to the public, as well as revealing your violent and disgusting incestuous tendencies. I can and will have you publicly executed, in a way, so do not test me. You have 48 hours. I will be watching very closely."_ The line went dead, signaling the end of the conversation.

Tadashi dropped the phone and fell to his knees. He didn't want this. He didn't want any of this. The whole world seemed intent on fucking his personal life over, one screwed up piece at a time. He was so fucking twisted and sick, but the world was just as equally twisted and sick.

"Sick bastard for a sick world, huh?" Tadashi said, to no one in particular. He let out a dry laugh, devoid of its usual charm and happiness. He still sat on the damp asphalt, the rough texture biting against his skin. He didn't feel it though. He didn't feel anything at the moment, except the determined rage that gripped his being.

One thing was for sure, Tadashi was going to get Hiro back if it killed him. If he had to abandon his humanity and slaughter the people that dare harm a hair on Hiro's beautiful head he would do it. If he had tear through the place and leaving a trail of blood in his wake, he would do it.

Tadashi picked himself up and barreled through the city. He had a lot of work and planning to do, and he was already running out of time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, but everything that happened is nECESSARY
> 
> tadashi is struggling to come to terms with the fact that he is a half ghoul while  
> hiro's a little shit
> 
> the next chapter will start out SUPER intense, there is a reason i marked this fic as being graphic. 
> 
> The chapter has been edited so I hope it's not as grammatically skewed as the last one, sorry about that hehe  
> i feel like i'm not very good at expressing emotions through paper so i appologize if the fic seems almost... monotone. Idk how else to describe it
> 
> also i made a playlist bc that's what i fucking like to do bite me
> 
> but you can listen to it here: http://8tracks.com/fruityintheloops/the-victims-of-circumastance
> 
> I am Sanfransokyohomos/FruityInTheLoops on tumblr (guess which one is the hidashi tumblr) and sanfrantrashcan/fruityntheloops on twitter. Again, only one is explicit hidashi but I'm quite active with bh6 on both
> 
> sorry for this sinfest i'll just let myself out now


	3. The Spilling of Innocent Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***WARNING****
> 
> this chapter contains graphic and vividly described torture, murder, hallucinations, and more torture
> 
> please do not read if gore of any kind makes you uneasy
> 
> this is not for the faint of heart

Hiro attempted to open his eyes. His mind was cloudy and thick, like he was trying to pull himself out of a deep sleep. He wasn’t sure where he was but a bright light shone in his face, and the area he laid his head against was hard. Probably fell asleep reading or something.

Hiro tried lifting his head and was instantly hit with a wave of nausea. He groaned loudly and lifted his hand to cover his eyes, but he found it wouldn't move. He pulled again and it still wouldn't move. As the vertigo faded from his hazy mind he instantly began to panic as he realized both his hands were fastened behind him by what felt like steel cuffs.

Instantly, he sat up and examined his surroundings. He was in a small holding cell type room, built with cinder block walls and a grey concrete floor. There appeared to be a bench or bed of some type, also made of cinder block and joined with the wall. A thick D ring protruded from a metal fixture on the wall near the floor with a short, old broken chain still locked to it. There was a metal door to his left, directly across from the bench, and the whole room was about 8x6 feet. There was no window, Hiro observed. He was trapped in the small prison like an animal in a cage.

Fear set into his bones but he tried to remain calm as he knew that panicking was not going to get him out of a claustrophobic’s worst nightmare. He leaned against the wall and tried to remember what happened. He remembered being at a bot fight and then seeing a person in a white trench coat, he remembered leaving and counting all the cash he'd scored, and then...

Snippets and bits of memories came rushing back to slap him in the face. The feeling of  being followed... the dark hand clamping a cloth to his mouth... the sickeningly sweet and suffocating smell that came with the ice cool feeling of the soaked rag... Struggling to breathe and just get away  from that nauseating smell... All too soon his already weak legs gave way and he collapsed to the ground, two white clad men surrounding him in his fuzzy vision.

Now he was panicking. He fiddled and tugged the bands that held his arms behind his back but his efforts yielded no fruit. He tried looping the chain around the D ring in attempt to break the chain and only succeeded in nearly dislocating his shoulders. After one final heartless tug, the young genius sank to ground, exhausted and teary eyed. Panic melted into downright fear and he cried for his safety. He cried for his physical and his mental health, whichever may be the first to go. He cried for his brother as well; he longed for Tadashi to find him and hold him in his strong arms, kiss his raven hair and soft lips and whisper in his ear how it was going be okay, and he was going get him out of here.

"Tadashi... God, Tadashi, I'm sorry!" Hiro managed to choke out between sobs. "I'm such an idiot! I didn't listen and now, I'm fucked!" He tucked his head into his knees and rocked back and forth, muttering "I'm sorry Tadashi" and "I fucked up" in between sobs.

He'd essentially cried himself out when a tall blonde man walked in the room, followed by a slightly shorter Asian woman. The blonde man was particularly well dressed, donned in a dark, luxury business suit. He had cruel icy blue eyes and particularly large triangular nose. Hiro recognized him instantly as Alistair Krei, the head of the CCG investigators. He was known for being extremely cruel and malicious when he wanted to be, however often had his underlings carry out his dirty work for him. He was not a man to be trusted by any means. However he also had a reputation for keeping things covered up at any cost, whether it be money or someone's life.

"Ah, young Mr. Hamada, yes?" He chirped quite cheerfully for a man who'd ordered the kidnapping of a minor, Hiro thought. "You must be wondering why you're here, am I correct?"

Hiro merely glared up him, in an endeavor to look much more threatening than he really was. One can only be so brave in front of two potentially dangerous people while sitting on the floor in handcuffs.

"I will take your lack of reply as an affirmative. Well, Hiro, if I may; I had you brought down here because your brother has something extremely valuable. And I need it back. We've been... Observing you and your brother for a few days now, and you've led us right to a commune of ghouls we've been after for years. Now I'm asking now for your cooperation. Tell me all about them, and maybe I'll let you out soon. We can do this the easy way..." He smiled politely and put his hands together in mock prayer "Or we can do this the hard way. It's your choice." The woman next to him popped her knuckles to insinuate just what he really meant.

Hiro looked up in defiance and scowled at the suited investigator. "I. Don't. Know. Anything." He spat at the ground next to Krei's well polished shoe.

Krei rubbed his eyes, sighing a little as though the teen’s defiance was slowly wearing on him.

"I... thought you were smarter than that, Hiro." He snapped his fingers; his assistant who'd remained quietly next to the door stepped up to Hiro and smacked him square across the jaw with the back of her hand. Hiro was thrown sideways to the ground be the sheer force of slap. He landed on his left arm, painfully jolting it against the concrete floor.

"As I was saying, we can do this the easy way, or the hard way. I had no doubt in my mind that you were going to be difficult, but just how difficult I'm still not sure. I want to know how strong these ghouls are; how fast, how smart, and what type of kagune they use. Do you think you can manage to tell me that?" Krei was now sitting casually on the bench, his legs and arms crossed.

"Like I said a second ago before your lady here smacked me," he managed to lift himself back up into a sitting position before continuing. "I don't know anything. We moved to the commune because we couldn't afford the rent on our apartment anymore." He was lying through his teeth, but it was all he could do for the moment.

"You... couldn't afford... the rent..." Krei chuckled lightly, then laughed harder until he was full blown cackling. When he finally managed to settle down he snapped his fingers once more. The assistant woman walked to his left and kicked his shoulder, hard. He groaned on the floor and was in the midst of trying to sit up again when another kick found his stomaching, send fiery jolts of pain through his midsection. He curled in on himself, unable wrap his arms around himself to protect his center.

Krei stood up once more and came around Hiro, crouching low next him and lifting his head by the top of his tangled black hair. "Frankly, Hiro, that's a load of bullshit, and you and I both know it. Your parents died leaving you enough money to live years, as advanced technicians employed very high up in the industry, I highly doubt they left you with nothing." He promptly dropped Hiro's head and reclaimed his seat on the bench.

"How do you know about our parents?" Hiro rasped out loud. He was breathing heavily, trying to regain his composure.

"Oh, Hiro..." he chuckled lightly it the younger's ignorance. "I'm a government investigator! I can get my hands on just about any piece of information I want. But that doesn't really matter... What matters is that I get the information I want when I want it."

"Why can't you just storm in there and take them out right now?! If you can kidnap me and hold me here against my will, shouldn't it be easy for you to just go in and take out a few ghouls?" Hiro didn't understand what Krei was really wanting. He must have some sort of ulterior motive, something Hiro couldn't see.

"That would be too easy, and it would look bad in the eyes of the public. Now, are you going to tell me what I want to know or am I going to have to beat it out of you?" His bright blue eyes grew dark and his evil intent was apparent. If Hiro could leave the cell, he'd be scooting away by now, but his only exit was blocked by Asian woman and a thin door of steel.

Hiro looked away and stared at the floor contumaciously. "I told you, I don't know anything." He mumbled, continuing to etch holes in the ground with his eyes. While he did know about the ghouls in the commune, he didn't know anything about them really. Aside from being flesh eaters and having red eyes sometimes, his knowledge on ghouls was limited. He knew about their kagune, or whatever they were called, but still knew very little.

"I'm... Sorry to hear that, Hiro." He smiled sympathetically at Hiro, but he could see the scowl hidden by his sympathetic facade. He heard the snapping of fingers vibrate off the wall and cringed, waiting for the impact of the assistants foot. It came, along with several others, reducing Hiro to a pathetically sobbing mess. He coughed and tried to breathe, but each time a new kick was placed, his effort to inhale forced to restart as the wind was knocked out of him.

He was heaving and sobbing on the floor when he noticed his assailant had finally ceased. The clicking of Kreis shoes could be heard but Hiro didn't dare look up from his huddle. Hiro heard Krei chuckle quietly, close to his head and he shivered.

"I didn't want to go this far, Hiro... But you leave me with no choice." He stood and pointed at Hiro. "Sedate him and have him moved immediately to Lab A113. Make sure he is prepped and ready, I want to begin immediately as soon as he wakes up." Hiro's eyes widen at the sound of Krei's orders. Immediately, Hiro rolled over and scooted into the corner as far as he could get from the fast approaching assistant now holding a small syringe.

"Don't TOUCH ME!" Hiro yelled and kicked, but the trained assistant merely grabbed a hold of one of his flailing legs and yanked him forward without a word. Hiro felt the plunge of the needle in his bare arm and the stinging sensation directly after. The sedative invaded his system immediately, and he began to fall unconscious. All he heard and saw before he finally blacked out was the click click click of Krei's polished shoes disappearing from view.

\---

Hiro awoke, and was blinded by the bright lights shining above him. They were a million times harsher than the ones in his cell and they assaulted his eyes, leaving variously colored spots in his vision. His head pounded in his skull and he felt like he was going to vomit, his stomach hurt so bad. Everything on his body was sore, he felt like he'd just been crushed with a ton of bricks, leaving his muscles screaming in agony. He attempted to roll over and quickly found he was held fast by a set of restraints on either hand.

He groaned and opened his eyes once more to survey his surroundings, avoiding the fluorescent lights overhead. He appeared to be in what looked to be an emergency room, however to his left were various instruments of ill and evil nature. An IV seeped into his arm, and his clothes had been replaced with that of a hospital type gown. He very quickly came to the conclusion that Lab A113 was not, in fact, a lab, but a room used for modern torture and experimentation. A chill ran down his spine and he tugged at the restraints that grounded him to the operating table on which he sat. His efforts were in vain.

"So you're awake then, yes?" A pleasantly cool voice spoke from behind him, and he reluctantly turned his head to look at the inspector leaning against a counter behind him. Hiro growled and turned his head back around, determined not to look at the inspector.

"Still giving me the silent treatment, how sad. Really, I've been so gracious and this is how you treat me? I'm heartbroken, Mr. Hamada." His voice dripped fake transgression. "But no matter, I'll get what I want soon enough. Anyway, I have something you might like to hear." he walked around so he was within Hiro's view and took out Hiro's cell phone from his breast pocket. "Your lovely brother was kind enough to give you a call earlier, and I thought you might like to hear it." He tapped the phone with his thumb and Tadashi's strained and worried voice came through the speaker.

"Hey Hiro, it's really late and I'm really worried so if you could call me back, that would be really great. Please come home soon. Bye." The phone beeped signaling the end of the message.

"Such a sweet, caring older brother you have... No wonder you fell so hard for him."

Hiro's eyes widened. Fear dropped in the pit of his stomach and he began to realize just how much Krei actually knew about them.

"Oh, didn't I mention? I know about you and your brother's twisted little relationship. You're a sick, perverted little faggot, aren't you? Couldn't keep your filthy little hands off your filthy brother, now that's just too bad." He shook his head in disapproval; Hiro could see the disgust glowing in his eyes as he looked down upon him.

"How do you know about that?" Hiro's voice was thick in his throat, he was absolutely terrified now. He'd been scared before, but now? He was petrified.

"Hiro, I told you, I can get any kind of information I want. It doesn't matter if it's publicly available or if I have to do a bit of... Observation to find out, I still get the information I want. While you've been carelessly fucking your older sibling, I've been gathering so much info just by watching you, and you never suspected a thing. Right now, I've got enough on the both of you to virtually destroy your lives." His eyes glinted evilly in the light of room, and a small smirk played on his lips.

"If you have all the information you want then why do you need me?!" Hiro began to grow frantic, wondering if it was this man's sole intention to torture and kill him simply because he could.

“Oh, you still don’t get it, Hiro? You’re the bait. This whole operation is a setup, and your brother is going to lead the ghouls right to me.” There was somewhat of crow in his voice; he snickered quietly to himself.

“What are you going to do with me then?!” Hiro tugged at the stainless steel cuffs securing his wrists which refused to give. He looked around frantically for something, anything that he could use to escape if and when Krei’s back was turned.

“It’d be terrible to let such a nice specimen go to waste… We’re just  going to run a few experiments.” Krei snapped his fingers and a lone man dressed like a surgeon entered. He came to stand by Krei, observing Hiro through a surgical mask, a look of pity creasing his features. His icy blue eyes made him extremely uncomfortable; Hiro began to feel like a frog literally about to be dissected.

“Hiro, this is Dr. Callaghan, he was kind enough join us after you brother’s little accident, which, by the way was no accident, we orchestrated the entire operation. Callaghan created the first real half ghoul, though sadly it had to be terminated shortly after. Your brother was the second half ghoul, and we purposely released Tadashi back into San Fransokyo so we could observe him interacting with people. He’s been under surveillance since he left the hospital. We know exactly where he is, what he’s doing, every minute of every day. Know, we’ve located a new subject, this time for laboratory use and experiments.” He smiled cruelly at Hiro who was once again struggling to get out of the restraints. The steel cuff dug painfully into his wrist but simply would not yield.

“Let’s start him off slow, yes? Oh, and blindfold him.” The doctor seemed to hesitate for a moment, looking at Hiro nervously before looking back at Krei.

“He’s just a child, Alistair.” His voice sounded old and worn, yet his stressed position was evident.

“I’d hate to have to go back on that promise I made. It’d be terrible if Abigail were to end up dead…” Krei inspected his fingernails, casually dismissing the doctor’s concern.

“But-”

“Did I fucking stutter? No, I did not.” Krei’s eyes sparkled dangerously foretelling a horrible fate to befall said Abigail person. Callaghan muttered a curse under his breath and lifted Hiro’s head gently to slip a dark strip of cloth underneath it. Hiro tried to jerk away but despite his gentle grip, it was firm. The blue cloth was fastened tightly and Hiro could no longer see, but he could hear the clicking of metal tools being shuffled around. He jumped when a cold latex hand nudged the IV in his arm a little further in. Nothing happened for several seconds, there was just silence. Hiro could feel himself trembling violently, tears seeping into the cloth rendering his eyes shut.

“Start with the right arm.” He heard Krei hum for amount before clapping his hands together. “I’ve got it, flay. Thin strips, shallow… To start at least.” He heard the shuffling of fabric, the clink of a tool being lifted. There were a few seconds that seemed to stretch on forever.

And then the cold metal dug into his skin. It was painful, causing him to wince a little, but it wasn’t unbearable. It was when the knife turned up and against the the skin and pulling it away from his inner arm that burned without any relief. The cool air hitting his exposed flesh only made the experience even worse. Hiro gritted his teeth, new tears blurring his already obscured vision. _Don’t scream, don’t scream, don’t you dare fucking scream._

The piece of flesh was then set aside, Hiro waited for the next cut, but it never came. Blood began to seep from the exposed wound

“Is something wrong, Dr. Callaghan?” Krei’s voice floated from behind Hiro, but even he could hear the investigators impatience through his shallow facade.

“His resolve is… Impressive, is all. Sorry.” Hiro heard some more shuffling and then the press of the blade in his skin. It was… Duller than the last. A small whine left Hiro’s lips as it dug into his skin, uneven and coarse. He dug deeper than the last, and made the incision wider, effectively ripping a few choked sobs from Hiro. The feeling of skin tearing from skin was strange and terrifying. He couldn’t see how wide, how long or how thick the piece was.

This continued for several hours, and the worst part was that it kept varying. There was no consistency to the size or length of the incision, and sometimes when the doctor pulled the skin off he went slow. Sometimes he went fast. Sometimes he waited few seconds and made Hiro jump when the blade made contact. Sometimes he’d tear off a chunk and it wouldn’t quite severe properly and would end up tearing unevenly. Hiro was only unable to keep from screaming for so long, however they were more like drawn out sobs. Pathetic wails of agony, as Krei had put it.

He’d stopped the doctor about halfway through the procedure to ask if Hiro had anything to say. Hiro just cried, and begged and pleaded, because he knew absolutely none of the information Krei wanted. He didn’t even know what type of Kagune Tadashi had, much less the color (an odd question on the behalf of the inspector, as Hiro thought they were all only bright crimson). Krei only seemed slightly disappointed and motioned for the doctor to continue on to his other arm. Now he just lay on the table, crying.

“I don’t know anything I’m sorry… Please, just stop… Please… I’ll do anything!” The pain he was in was nearly unbearable, it felt like both of his arms were encased in glowing hot metal, the skin singeing and sticking the burning hot surfaces. Yet at the same time, the air rolled over it, offering some sort of mild relief, only for the burning sensation to come right back again.

“Hush… I’d hate for your brother to miss this important call.” The blindfold was removed and the fluorescent lights hit with the power of a white sun. When he focused on Krei, he found him snapping at Callaghan and making some sort of hand motion. Everything was a blur, Krei’s arm, the lights, the doctor sifting through various tools until pulling what looked like a small, thin knife up and inspecting it the light. He waited for Krei’s mark and then plunged the knife into the centre of Hiro’s hand.

Hiro screamed louder than he had before, the feeling of the knife grazing bone, severing muscle, and hitting the table beneath him. He heard Tadashi’s frantic voice through the phone, he felt the doctor twisting the blade slowly, widening the wound somewhat. _It’s too much to handle…_

“Stop it! Please stop it, I can’t take anymore, stop!” His pleas fell on deaf ears, the knife continued to twist and screech against the metal table. Hiro begged and begged until the knife was finally pulled out. He felt the steady hands of the man who’d just paired his flesh from his body wrap the appendage tightly in strips of sterile cloth.

Everything began to blur, the lights overhead, Krei’s voice in the background followed by angry garbled replies that could only be from his brother, the doctor’s face as he cleaned and wrapped hiro’s skinned arms… It all just muddled together.

He passed out, the image of a red eyed Krei slipping a sliver of Hiro’s flesh into his mouth, the darkness his eyes was almost as dark as the void that Hiro fell into.

Somehow it was better than reality.

\---

“They’re going to try and kill all of us, you know that right?” Cass spoke firmly, far from her usual soothing tone. “They will not hesitate to kill you, so you have to kill them first. No hesitation, no contemplation, no mercy.” She sat in the chair at the head of the table, hands thoughtfully folded and placed under her chin. The other ghouls sat around, solemnly digesting everything Tadashi had just told him.

“I understand. I will not hesitate.” Tadashi’s eyes were hard, and he was anxious and restless. He gripped his knee, hard enough that his knuckles turned white. “I don’t want to involve everyone in this mess, this is my fault, so I’ll go alone.”

“Are you fucking crazy?” Gogo spoke up, sounding pissed as usual. “You can’t go into the CCG alone, you idiot. You’ll get killed and harvested so quickly, and then Hiro will die alone in that hellhole. He’s probably already dead, they’re not above lying to get what they want.”

“Besides, they know about us anyway, so it’s not like we’re in any more danger than you. We’re all potential targets at this point.” Wasabi spoke next, stirring his coffee he’d been drinking with a spoon.

“We’re here for you, Tadashi, let us help.” Honey Lemon looked sympathetic, but worried. “We’re gonna get Hiro back, and we’re gonna do it right.” They were interrupted by Fred, who burst through the door, holding Tadashi’s phone.

“I had a friend trace Hiro’s phone. It’s in the underground detention center of the CCG… That doesn’t mean good things for Hiro.” He set the phone down in front of Tadashi and slid into an empty seat, joining the rest of the anxious group.

“What’s in the detention center?” Tadashi had a feeling it wasn’t good, but he had to know. He had to know what he was putting Hiro through because of his own carelessness.

“It’s… It’s where they perform experiments. Experiments that are torture and living hell on those being experimented on. The quinques come from the labs. Q bullets came from the labs. Right now, they’re supposedly trying to create a Ghoul/Human hybrid, though I don’t think they’ve had any success. The ghouls and people that get dragged into those labs don’t come back out.” Cass looked distant. Troubled. Like she’d lost someone herself to those labs. “Did you find a route in that doesn’t go through the main building, Fred?”

“Of course I did, they always leave the sewer entrances vulnerable. But once we’re in we have to move fast. We’ll have to stay disguised too. The masks cannot come off at all. I can rig the entrance to blow after we get out, it’ll buy some time.” There was a strange glint in his eye, like he was relatively excited to go out on a suicide mission of sorts. “I also know where we can go after because we definitely cannot come back here, this’ll be the first place they check.”

Cass groaned and rubbed her face. “I didn’t even think about that. This will require a lot of sacrifice on everybody's part. Are you all willing to deal with that?” Tadashi felt even worse as soon as the words were out of Cass’s mouth. Because of him, he was uprooting everybody from what used to be a safe environment, and forcing them out into the street where they were vulnerable to any number of horrible outcomes.

“It was bound to happen sooner or later. Might as well be for a good reason.” Gogo stared out the window at the deserted street. “I think I speak for all of us when I say that even though we’ve only known you guys for like a week, Hiro’s definitely grown on all of us. You both have. Besides, we ghouls gotta watch each other’s backs.” It was the first thing she’d said in his presence that didn’t sound like she absolutely hated his guts.

“It’s settled then. We’re going after Hiro, and we’re gonna find the bastard that took him.” Fred had a sly grin on his face. He was definitely looking forward to the rescue.

“Very well. Tadashi, come with me, we need to put together a disguise for you.” Cass stood up and motioned for Tadashi to follow. Tadashi did so begrudgingly, padding along softly after the wise woman.

 

\---

 

When Hiro regained consciousness, he knew right away something was definitely wrong. Everything was dark and blurry, and he couldn’t feel anything past his ribcage. His arms felt like they were cemented to the table he was laying on, and his eyes were sealed shut by some invisible force. Opening them was an even worse decision, he found, as the lights above burned with the intensity of a thousand suns. People moved around him like ghosts, blurring in his vision and shifting around too quickly to focus.

He looked up and found the reason for all the people and the blatant numbness in his lower body: His stomach was open and his organs were everywhere. He saw them spilling out everywhere, one of the people had a section of his large intestine his hand and he was pulling it out. Hiro tried to grab at his internal organs but his hands still, for the love of god, would not move.

One of the shifty people turned to look at him, and his eyes were pitch black, no pupil or iris, just black holes boring into his skull. The person reached out and as he did so, spiders crawled out of his eyes and down his face and neck. Hundreds of thousands of tiny black widows crawled down his arms and onto Hiro’s skin. He shook his head furiously to try and shake them off but they just kept coming, and they bit, and it hurt so bad. There was vague screaming in the distance, like someone was falling to their death outside

He passed out yet again as spiders slowly blacked out his vision.

 

\---

 

Tadashi stared at himself in a mirror. He didn’t recognise the person standing before him, dressed entirely in black. A leather jacket and gloves, given to him by fred, a pair of his own jeans and all black converse, and mask that looked oddly like a respirator that a painter would wear, yet wickedly modified to cover half the face and give off an evil aura.

The person standing in front of him wasn’t Tadashi.

He had to give Tadashi up the moment he tasted another’s blood on his tongue.

We leave at dawn, be ready.

Tadashi wasn’t sure he’d ever be ready.

 

\---

 

 _A metal fucking chair, they have me bound to a metal. Fucking. Chair. Unbelieveable._ The bindings on Hiro’s wrist were becoming very irksome. And he was so hungry, god he was hungry. He tugged at the bindings on his wrist and the gave slight with a creek.

_Kachink._

_Kachink._

_Kachink._

_Kachink._

Four times he tried yanking them off. Four times they nearly gave, but he just wasn’t strong enough. And now he was just sitting, bound to a chair, still completely vulnerable to anybody who’d care to walk in. He couldn’t remember much before he passed out. He remembered vaguely being flayed alive on his arms, but the only evidence of that happening was a dull, burning ache in his wrists and upper arms.

Everything seemed off since he’d woken up. His senses seemed heightened in a way, like he was some sort of animal. A foul smell permeated the air, smelling a lot like antiseptic, rusting metal, iron, and rotting carnage. It made him want recoil and vomit, but if the dull aching told him anything, it was that all his stomach had to expel was bile.

His hearing seemed heightened as well, he could hear the clicking of heels outside, echoing off the walls. He could hear the rats climbing through the sewage pipes not four feet into the brick behind him. He could hear the screams of the others in the building, their cries for help were not unheard, but just as they were helpless, so was he.

This is a grim place isn’t it… Hiro chuckled darkly to himself.

Krei seemed to have either rather impeccable timing, or psychic knowledge of his thoughts, because he entered the room through the thick, steel door, followed by the doctor who’d tortured him earlier. So it wasn’t a dream…

“Mr. Hamada, did you sleep well?” Krei smiled pleasantly, but Hiro could see he was tense. His eyes didn’t quite crinkle the way the had earlier.

“Cut the shit, Krei, what do you want from me? And why am I bolted to a painfully uncomfortable metal chair?” Hiro found his snark yet again, still feeling rather unwilling to comply with the wishes of his captors.

“Oh, we’ll get there alright. Or rather, you two will, I’m busy at the moment. I just wanted to make sure you were… comfortable before Callaghan here begins.” He motioned to the doctor, who’d taken out a few vials of a clear liquid. Something that looked suspiciously like a large pair of pliers, a syringe, and a large jar of a brownish red liquid. Peculiar set of items, but they likely had some sort of use.

Krei picked up and slid on a rubber glove, unscrewed the jar and dipped his fingers in. The smell of iron hit Hiro’s nose with a ferocity he’d never known. It was the fact that it appealed to him that made him nervous. He realised he was leaning forward against his bonds and his mouth was watering.  Slowly, he leaned back shamefully and stared at the floor. He heard Krei chuckle as he approached.

“There’s a good boy… Now open your mouth for me and we can get on with this much faster.” He clutched Hiro’s jaw and turned him so he was facing Krei.

“I would rather have someone piss in my eye than open my mouth for you.” Hiro snarled with all the disgust and contempt he had but it only made Krei smile further. He grabbed Hiro rather harshly, just underneath his jaw and squeezed, hard. Hiro’s immediate reaction was to open his mouth, and as soon as he did, Krei’s fingers were inside. He merely ran his fingers along Hiro’s tongue, wiping the blood along his tongue, extracting his fingers before Hiro had a chance snap down. He smiled, satisfied with the disgusted look on Hiro’s face.

“Enjoy it, Hiro, it was expensive to collect and preserve.” He turned to Callaghan, dropping the in the trash nearby. He turned to Callaghan, dropping the smirk from his face. “Preform as many rounds as possible before he passes out. He might just go insane before the morning. Watch out for snapping and biting, I don’t need another incident like last week.” He strode away cooly, typing in a number on the keypad before exiting. The door shut and clicked behind them, leaving only an unsettling amount of silence.

“You’ve no doubt figured out that you’re no longer human, am I correct?” Callaghan spoke with power, but it didn’t mask the tiredness in his voice. He sounded haggard, like his life was weighing down on him every second of every day. Hiro made no response, but eyed him warily. “I’ll take that as a yes. Right now, you’ve regenerated enough to have healed your wounds, but you’re still extremely weak by a ghoul’s standards. At the moment, if I were to hit you with a blade, however, it would simply shatter. So, do you know how we weaken ghouls enough to operate and dissect them?”

Hiro shook his head quickly unsure and not liking where the doctor was going. He lifted the syringe with the clear chemical in it, holding it up to the light.

“Rc suppressants. They keep your regenerative ability from happening until the effects wear off. At that point I will force you to eat, this causes regeneration to begin again. Do you understand?” Hiro nodded quickly, leaning as far away as he could. “Now… There’s only going to be a few places where I can inject this without the needle shattering. Hold still so I don’t get the needle lodged in your eye, I’d hate to have to remove your eye before it’s necessary.”

He grabbed Hiro by his cheekbones, thumb hooked over his nose so he could spread his eye open. Hiro tried leaning away but the doctor held him fast, not allowing him to move. The needle entered the soft flesh on the underside of his eyelid, burning like nothing he’d felt before. Tears welled up in his eyes, burning even more when it it entered the small wound. He felt the liquid enter his bloodstream, it was like liquid ice seeping through his veins. Although he felt no stronger than earlier, his body temperature dropped rapidly, he felt like he was freezing.

Callaghan pulled away from a new shivering, whimpering Hiro, disposing of the syringe and setting a new one aside. He picked up the plier tool examining Hiro for a moment. He sighed finally, bending down next Hiro’s right hand.

“What are you doing?” Hiro instinctively curled his hand into a fist, trying to protect his hand. Callaghan didn’t even respond, he simply forced Hiro’s hand open, sliding his index finger within the tools maw. He seemed to feel around for a moment before settling with a spot. Hiro’s heart sped up and he panicked. “Stop! Don’t do tha-”

He was cut off when Callaghan clamped down hard on the the handle forcing the blade through his finger. Hiro wailed at the feeling of the cold blade forcing its way through muscle, tissue, and nerves. He could hear the bone crack and splinter, and the idea that his finger was being separated his hand was mortifying, he coughed and choked on his sobs, his stomach attempting to regurgitate everything it could. Bile burned in his throat as he heaved, his left eye stung and slightly swollen from where he’d been injected. Callaghan waited for him to calm down before proceeding moving to his middle finger instead. He cut much slower than the last time, faltering slightly when he hit the bone.

Hiro screamed until his throat was raw, he was blinded by his own tears, and his hands burned where they were cut off, pulsing and dripping and sticky with blood. Callaghan didn’t stop until all of Hiro’s fingers were cut off. He set the bloodied tool aside, next to all ten fingers. It was a gruesomely appalling scene, Hiro found himself heaving once more. He watched through blurred vision as Callaghan changed his gloves, and opened the red jar, pulling a strip of flesh out.

“The faster you get this down, the faster we can continue.  One more cycle is expected out of us, and I doubt you can last that long.” He held the strip in front of Hiro’s face, the scent invading his nostrils. “Open your mouth.”

Hiro furiously shook his head back and forth, refusing to open his mouth. “No! No! I won’t do it, I won’t eat it!” He cried through clenched teeth, refusing to look up. He wanted it, he wanted it so bad, he could feel the saliva in his mouth welling up, and his will to say no breaking down, brick by brick.

Callaghan merely furrowed his brows, and dug around until he found another tool, with which he forced Hiro’s mouth open and slid the strip of flesh down his throat, forcing him to swallow. Hiro coughed and gagged on the flesh as it slid down, it was slimy in texture and tasted like iron and chemicals.

He didn’t notice Callaghan rummaging around and pulling out several tools  and equipment until he was on him like a cat on on it’s next meal. Hiro could see the tool he was holding, not to far from his face. The shape reminded him of a set of claws, used to reach down and grab whatever was beneath them. “I am truly sorry for everything, but I have no choice.” Callaghan widened his eye and prepared to remove it entirely.

If one were to walk past that particular room and witness the screams and cries emanating from behind that bolted metal door, they would only be able to describe it as the sound of ultimate suffering. His wails set a chill in the bones of those in the immediate area.

The feeling of regenerating was no better than losing the limbs in the first place. In fact, it was almost worse. It was like growing pains had solely concentrated in his hands as his fingers grew back, millimeter by millimeter. The nerves reconnecting and regrowing were like a thousand needles stabbing him repeatedly. It could have been minutes, but it felt like hours before he was finally able to even twitch his index finger.

Eventually his vision came back, slow, fuzzy, and dark as the cones and rods regenerated, the feeling of remaining gore and ocular fluid squelching as his eyes reclaimed the socket. It was certainly something he'd never wish on someone else, the absolute agony and suffering was already taking its toll. His sanity was deteriorating.

He couldn't think of anyway it could get worse.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

 

\---

Something was wrong. Something was very wrong and Tadashi could feel it. Hiro was in immense pain, he just knew and every second wasted made him more and more tense. His footing nearly slipped as they neared the CCG detention center. The narrow walkway along the sewer was slimy with algae and fungi of some kind. The smell was almost bad enough to make a normal human vomit, let alone a ghoul. He was momentarily glad the respirator he was wearing as it took care of most of the foul odor.

Fred was in the lead of the group, followed by Wasabi, Honey, Gogo, and Himself, Cass bringing up the rear. No one spoke as Fred navigated turn after turn. Tadashi wondered how anyone was able to see, as their masks covered most or all of their face. Fred wore a mask somewhat akin to that of a Kaiju monster made to look absolutely hideous. Wasabi was wearing a kabuki mask that resembled the face of an angry samurai warrior. Honey Lemon’s mask looked like a mannequin, completely bare except for the the red lips and blushed cheeks. She also adorned a brown haired, curly wig that bounced whenever she walked. Gogo’s mask resembled a terrifying bondage mask, covering her entire lower face, narrowing at the bridge of her nose and disappeared beyond her hairline. She too sported a short bob wig of pure silver. Cass’s mask appeared to be a Maneki-neko, similar to the one above her shop, instead bearing red eyes and vicious sharp teeth. They were unrecognisable as people of the community.

Fred motion for everyone to hold up, making a get back motion. He then motioned for everyone to step back and made an explosion gesture with both hands. _When I give the signal, I’m gonna blow the entrance sky-high. From there, all hell breaks lose. This has to be simple, we get Hiro, we get out. He’ll be on the bottom floor of the detention center. It’s about two stories underground, so there can be no hesitancy on killing anybody._ It was a shaky plan from the beginning, but now it seemed like a death wish. 

They watched closely as Fred disappeared with a small, silver tube Honey Lemon had produced. Supposedly the chemical contents would eat away at the metal door within seconds once it was detonated. Fred returned quickly, hiding behind the wall precariously. There was a large boom and the sound of metal tearing, and then alarms. Flashing red lights signalled the intrusion. Men armed in black riot gear wielding semi-automatic weapons. Someone on a megaphone behind the blockade men yelled something about surrender but it was all drowned out as soon as Gogo jumped over the group and sent a flurry of shining red spikes, hitting all the men and killing most.

Tadashi was beginning to feel slightly less terrified, especially when he figured just exactly how weak humans were compared to him. He ran at one person in particular, kicking the weapon out of his hand and pinning him to the ground by his shoulders. He relished the cracking sound the man’s collarbone made as it crunched under foot, and the man’s screams of agony. He stepped off his shoulder and gripped the man’s head and violently twisted it, effectively snapping his neck.

Tadashi Hamada, the Tadashi that cared for the sick and the ill, the Tadashi that loved unconditionally, screamed within his brain to stop what he was doing. He only squelched the voice down until it was nothing but a dull whimper. _Let it go, Tadashi. I’m taking control and there’s no going back now._

He continued forward confidently, fatally injuring or killing anybody who got in his way. The others had gone down separate halls to search, leaving Tadashi with the ward before him. The men came fewer now, he easily took them out, like one lightbulb after another. _This isn’t so bad,_ He thought. _At least I’m not dead yet._

He was smirking rather confidently jamming some poor soul’s head against the wall that he didn’t see the red dot line up with his heart. He turned to the side slightly, and spotted the sniper a second too late.

The bullet sunk into his flesh, knocking the air from him. The world stilled for a moment, and the only sound was the whisper of his brothers name before he fell to the ground.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my name is fruity and i'm a damaged piece of shit
> 
> if you wish to follow me for my gross content, please proceed to my NSFW blog: http://damagedfruity.tumblr.com/  
> if you wish to follow me on less of a sinner standard, please proceed to my main blog: http://fruityintheloops.tumblr.com/
> 
> if you wish to retaliate at me for my for sin, please feel free to do so
> 
> feedback is heavily appreciated
> 
> thanks to my lovely baby HidashiHaven for betaing for me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, It is I, sanfransokyohomo  
> Wow this thing is huge omg like 4050 words damn  
> Let me just explain myself here; me and Daddy-Hidashi were supposed to do a Tokyo Ghoul Collab together but then the whole anti hidashi thing happened, accounts were terminated, yada yada yada…. Anyway. We both still want to do the collab, so I guess she’s sketching and line arting and I’m coloring…? Idk but we’re collabing so yea  
> so i was at school when i wrote a majority of this so i wasn't able to look up the proper terminolgy for things like the ghoul eyes and i specificly avoided tadashi using kagune because i don't know yet how to describe them. I need to refresh myself on the wiki... so i did the best i could so you know whats going on and you can picture it n stuff. yea  
> We didn’t have a story so I’m writing one (thus the shittily written story here), it should be about 2-3 chapters, each being kind of long  
> Smut later yeah that was like the whole point of this thing lol  
> Umm I *assume* this site is fairly anti hidashi free so imma go ahead and tell you I have two twitters now, I tweet about Hamada bros with both of them they are @fruityntheloops and @doritofucker (nsfw)  
> My tumblr is sanfransokyohomos, yep I’m still here  
> I will be updating Strings and Strokes soon, I’m just having a little bit of trouble writing tadashi right now because of … reasons… you’ll see.  
> Idk where daddy-hidashi is currently online but if yall know please tELL ME bc I think they deleted their tumblr. Boo.  
> That’s all, if you want to get ahold of my quickly twitter is the best way to do it. 
> 
> ALSO I READ IT LIKE THREE TIMES TO MAKE SURE THERE WERE NO MISTAKES, I AM SORRY IF YOU FIND SOME
> 
> I am Sanfransokyohomos/FruityInTheLoops on tumblr (guess which one is the hidashi tumblr) and sanfrantrashcan/fruityntheloops on twitter. Again, only one is explicit hidashi but I'm quite active with bh6 on both


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